The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
