I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
