Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
