Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
