So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His hands were made for my vagina.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize