he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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