never play flip cup with pint glasses
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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