3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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