Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
