had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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