living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
