those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
