So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
