"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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