I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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