whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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