So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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