just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize