look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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