I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm really busy with my period
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