kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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