he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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