rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
