the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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