I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
