There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
