Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also, beer. Big fan.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
