Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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