my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
