i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize