I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
