uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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