Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
