Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
