google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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