I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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