Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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