Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Can Purell be used as lube?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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