lets start a swedish sibling band together
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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