Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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