the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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