I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
