ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Drake has all the answers
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
