He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize