Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
