3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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