he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
