That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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