I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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