i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize