I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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