You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
