So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize