I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
