i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
