But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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