Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
