for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
