as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
