Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
