I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
