Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
