found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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