i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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