she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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