i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
