First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
