3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
